Volunteering with Kids

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This week Catherine is working on several projects for the Oregon Humane Society. She’s on her way to logging 40 hours to earn her Girl Scout Silver Award. She’s doing the work, of course, but that doesn’t mean I get a free pass to work on my projects while she’s working on hers. She’s sewing blankets for kitties, which means frequent problem solving with the sewing machine since she’s a novice at sewing. So we work on it together to some degree.

While she’s working on this project for Girl Scouts not as part of book club, I know many members of mother-daughter book clubs who choose to volunteer together and have a great time when they do. Some of them even start younger than I would have guessed was a good age, eight years old, and let their kids be in charge of planning.

As a mom, I know how difficult it can be sometimes to stand back and let the kids be in charge. Activities tend to be messier and less organized when the younger set is calling the shots. But I see a real advantage to it as well, especially with volunteering. Kids can build confidence while seeing that they can make a difference in their community. I definitely saw that with my older daughter Madeleine and her friends when they volunteered (again through Girl Scouts) to work with Habitat for Humanity last spring. The girls worked slowly, but they gained a lot of confidence learning to swing a hammer and hang drywall in a home where a needy family was soon to move in.

I think it’s most important to let the kids be in charge when deciding what kind of project to take on and how much they want to be involved. Getting this kind of buy in is most likely to lead to a successfully finished project, because kids are more likely to stay interested until the end.

If you’re looking for volunteer opportunities where you live, you may want to check out your local United Way, which often keeps a database of volunteer opportunities. I’ve also found great information using VolunteerMatch.org.

Book Review: Alligator Bayou by Donna Jo Napoli

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Alligator Bayou

Calogero is a 14-year-old immigrant to Louisiana from Sicily, and he lives in the small town of Tallulah where his cousins and uncles sell groceries and produce. The year is 1899, and the small band of Sicilians find the constraints that won’t let them mingle with whites because their skin is dark also keeps them from socializing with blacks.

Calogero and his 13-year-old cousin Cirone are lonely and want to fit in: they work to learn English, eat American food and try to learn the customs of their new country. But tight economic times lead to tension between the white Louisianans and the Sicilians, who the whites see as taking business away from them. When Calogero and his relatives become friends with blacks, tensions escalate.

Based on a true event, Alligator Bayou by Donna Jo Napoli brings this powerful clash of cultures to life with tales of alligator hunts in the bayou, Italian immigrant communities, picking cotton, selling watermelons, cooking sweet potatoes and eating alligator.

This tale reminds us that the immigrant story in the U.S., like the story between whites and blacks, was and is often wrought with difficulties. The story was particularly poignant for me, because I grew up in Louisiana amongst many long-established Italians, and I had no idea of the hardships many of their ancestors endured so their descendants could one day become part of the accepted American community.

Napoli understands the time period she writes of well, and there are references to the all-but-gone Tunica tribe of Mississippi and Louisiana and the 1890 U.S. Census, in which some blacks found out for the first time they were free from slavery. It’s truly amazing to look back on the time and issues that dominated the day: Jim Crow laws, the relationship between white and blacks, and the threat immigrants posed to the normal routine of life. Mother-daughter book clubs with girls aged 10 to 13 will find a lot to talk about.

GuysRead.com—A Great Place to Find Books for Boys

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I just ran across an interesting website that may be useful for moms (and dads) looking to find good books for boys. It’s called Guys Read.com, and it’s got lists for young guys middle guys and older guys. The site has an edgy look, and should further appeal to guys who are looking for books on their own as well as their parents. Here’s Guys Read’s stated mission:

Our mission is to:
1. Make some noise for boys.
We have literacy programs for adults and families. GUYS READ is our chance to call attention to boys’ literacy.
2. Expand our definition of reading.
Include boy-friendly nonfiction, humor, comics, graphic novels, action- adventure, magazines, websites, and newspapers in school reading. Let boys know that all these materials count as reading.
3. Give boys choice.
Motivate guys to want to read by letting them choose texts they will enjoy. Find out what they want. Let them choose from a new, wider range of reading.
4. Encourage male role models.
Men have to step up as role models of literacy. What we do is more important than all we might say.
5. Be realistic. Start small.
Boys aren’t believing that “Reading is wonderful.” Reading is often difficult and boring for them. Let’s start with “Here is one book/magazine/text you might like.”
6. Spread the GUYS READ word.
Encourage people to use the information and downloads on this site to set up their own chapters of GUYS READ, and get people thinking about boys and reading.

The site it run by Jon Scieszka, a former elementary school teacher and author of books that are great for guys to read too, like The Stinky Cheese Man and The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs. Of course, my girls love those books as well, but good books often transcend gender and appeal to everyone.

While I keep a list of good books for boys here too, with titles recommended by boys, parents and librarians, I love the idea of a site dedicated just to boys. Check it out! Guysread.com.

Book Review: Lipstick Apology by Jennifer Jabaley

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Lipstick Apology

Emily Carson is in the midst of a party when she finds out her parents have died in a plane crash. She is further shocked when a seat-back tray is discovered with a message written in lipstick from her mom to her: Emily, please forgive me.

Those four words keep Emily from grieving in peace, as the national media focus on her and the lipstick apology that she doesn’t know the meaning of.  All summer she hides within herself and her childhood home before heading off to New York City to live with her glamorous aunt Jolie, a make-up artists famous for all the famous people she makes-up and for her skin care product line. Never married and childless, Jolie isn’t sure how to help her niece overcome her grief and settle into their new lives together.

Emily is enrolled at a prestigious New York City school, and at first all she can see are the differences between the students there and her friends back home in Pennsylvania where she grew up. As she slowly adjusts to her new world, she must learn to distinguish true friendship based on the person within, not the looks outside. And she grapples with the meaning of her mother’s message.

Lipstick Apology by Jennifer Jabaley starts off somewhat rocky, with characters that seem more like caricatures than real people. There’s a gay hairdresser, rich prep school girls, and self-centered high school jocks. In some ways, it reads like a made-for-TV movie, covering issues on the surface, but not very in-depth. However, as the book moves along, we get a closer look at Emily and her motivations, her insecurities and her quest. While I never felt as though I truly got into Emily’s brain and understood what she was going through, I do believe this book offers lots to talk about in a mother-daughter book club with girls in high school. It offers good discussions on forgiveness, friendship, family, love and grief.

Book Review: Surviving High Society by Elizabeth Mulholland

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Surviving Society

From the outside anyone would have thought Elizabeth Marvin had the perfect life: a wealthy family, an expensive education, extravagant vacations, and more. But hiding behind the perfect façade was a deeply troubled childhood for Elizabeth and her brother, both of whom were adopted. Elizabeth’s memoir, Surviving High Society tells of her life growing up around the world of New England monied families, her difficult relationship with her controlling mother, and the refuge she found with her father, and eventually, with her husband.

Born in 1940, Elizabeth’s memoir takes us through the 1940s, 50s and 60s, and touches on the life of Katharine Hepburn, whose niece was a friend. While the situations she describes offer a fascinating glimpse into society life of the times, there is not enough detail about her family situation to really help the reader understand the bad experiences she talks about. It’s almost as though the training Elizabeth must have had in holding back her emotions is still at work even as she cracks open the door to let us know a little bit about what went on inside her home.

While I don’t believe this is a perfect choice for mother-daughter book clubs, I found it an interesting book to read for it’s historical context and to learn about one woman’s struggle to become her own, independent person in a time that was difficult for women to assert themselves.

Book Review: Runaround by Helen Hemphill

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Runaround

Sassy is only 11 but she can’t wait to grow up and be noticed by boys. Especially since her older sister Lula seems to attract the kind of attention Sassy wants. She figures if she can convince the best-looking boy in town, Boon Chisolm, to be her boyfriend she will be one up on Lula.

Runaround by Helen Hemphill is a small book that crams in many storylines—in a good way. Set in a tobacco-growing area sometime around the first Surgeon General’s warning against smoking and the beginning of food stamps for the needy, Runaround touches on the plight of farmers of the era and the needy of all time. It harkens back to the days of lazy summers and having a country store down the road kids could walk to and buy groceries on credit.

Sassy and Lula are motherless, and they are cared for by Miss Dallas, a woman who has never had children and who is reluctant to answer Sassy’s questions about love and romance. So Sassy gleans most of her ideas of romance from reading True Confessions magazine, something her Daddy doesn’t approve of. Each chapter of Runaround opens with a quote from what appears to be True Confessions articles, and it’s easy to see how Sassy could get mixed up about love and romance if that’s what she thinks of as the norm.

If I have any reservations about Runaround, it’s that it brings up many issues that it doesn’t address in-depth enough. There are issues of class, sisters hurting and supporting each other, family secrets, and difficulties with family communication. And I thought Sassy’s tantrums were more appropriate for a toddler than an 11-year-old who should be able to control her anger and actions a bit more than she does. But those issues should give mother-daughter book clubs a lot to talk about. I recommend Runaround for book clubs with girls aged ten to thirteen.

Book Review: Operation Redwood by S. Terrell French

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Operation Redwood

Twelve-year-old Julian Carter-Li has no idea that adventure will soon find him. All he knows is that his mother is on a grant-paid trip to China that should enhance her career as a photographer, while she’s gone he has to stay with his mean-spirited aunt and uncle since no one else is available to take care of him, and he may have to spend his entire summer shuttling from one undesirable camp after another.

He is resigned to his fate until he inadvertently reads an email intended for his uncle that launches a relationship with a girl named Robin who lives on a farm in California’s redwood country. Before he knows it, Julian is working against his uncle’s company to save a grove of old-growth redwood trees from the saw, and he’s taking extreme-for-him measures to get the attention of anyone who may have the power to save the trees. All while learning about farm life and personal responsibility.

Operation Redwood by S. Terrell French combines eco-adventure with common childhood fantasies: to live in a tree house far above the rest of the world and to make grown-ups pay attention to what a kid has to say. While there’s no doubt the story take a pro-environment stance, it’s not preachy in getting a message across. Instead we see Julian, Robin and their friends Danny and Ariel learn how they can make a difference to something they feel is very important. And though the ending may have a touch of the stuff of fairy tales, I found Operation Redwood a delightful and fun adventure to read. I recommend it for mother-daughter book clubs with girls nine to twelve.

Are You Reading a Hot Dog or Foie Gras?

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Last week my daughter Madeleine and I headed down to the University of Oregon for her orientation. I’m still not truly believing she’ll be leaving home this fall, but I’m sure I’m not the only mom in denial. In fact, the university caters to us parents about to send our kids into the world, even offering a talk called “Teaching Your Ducklings to Fly.” (It’s also a pretty cute play on words since the U of O mascot is a duck.)

I was very impressed with a seminar for parents only called The Art of Reading. While our children were signing up for fall classes, (parents aren’t even allowed in the room with them) a group of about 15 moms and dads gathered in the library to talk with an English professor about rediscovering how to read for meaning.

I was there with Karen and Janelle, two other moms in my mother-daughter book club, and we happily soaked up some new thoughts on reading. One thought in particular stood out from the day:

Choosing a book and choosing what to eat can be a lot alike. Sometimes you are hungry and you just want to eat a hot dog to fill you up. You don’t need anything fancy, because any food will do at the moment. Those tend to be what I think of as books that you can easily pick up and put down without losing the main thread of the story. They’re usually fun, maybe even a guilty pleasure. Some titles I have read recently in that category include Lipstick Apology by Jennifer Jabaley and Runaround by Helen Hemphill. (Reviews to come soon.)

Other times, you’re more in the mood for a four-course gourmet meal. I just finished a book like that called Stone’s Fall by Iain Pears. It was nearly six hundred pages and I savored every page until the very satisfying ending. I’m also finishing up reading Empire by Gore Vidal to Madeleine. History-nerds that we are, we have looked forward to reading it every day, but savored it as we went along. We can’t wait to start reading Vidal’s follow up story, Hollywood. Soon I expect to read The Book Thief to Catherine, another book to linger over and appreciate.

I like applying the food analogy to books, because it helps me enjoy whatever I’m reading for the hunger it satisfies at the moment.

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