There’s an enormous amount of pressure to say yes when someone asks if she can join your mother-daughter book club. The mom or daughter asking may be part of your social circle. She may be someone you really like and think would be an asset to the group. You may also want to avoid being labeled exclusive and be tempted to offer an invitation on the spot. But should you?

If your group hasn’t already talked about adding new members, you will definitely want to bring this issue up at a meeting.Why? The moms and girls already in your club should have the final say on how big the group will be and who is in it.

Even though you may feel pressured to say yes, there are valid reasons for saying no. Here are a few:

• You like the size of your club and don’t want it to grow any larger.
• You have bonded tightly as a group and don’t want to add new personalities to the mix.
• The new member lives far away, and you want your club members close together so it’s easier for everyone to get to meetings.

Of course, you may also decide that when it comes to book club, the more the merrier. That’s why it’s best to talk about your policy on new members before you’re asked. That way if the answer is yes, you can happily offer an invitation. If it’s no, you can say so right away, and tell the reason why. You may not be able to avoid hurt feelings altogether, but if it’s clear the answer is not personal you’re more likely to make the best of the situation.

The bottom line is, you want to do what’s best to insure the long term success of your group.